My Business
AI-powered reality check

Your business called. It needs a roast.

Upload your site or pitch and get a funny, brutally honest video audit—then buy the practical fixes that make your business sharper.

Roast my businessSee how it works

Complete audit from $9. No agency retainer. No polite fluff.

Roast verdict
00:30

First impression

Your offer is good.Your headline is playing hide-and-seek.

Clarity: needs a nudge
Fix: lead with value

BRUTAL TRUTH

Better business

The founder promise

01

Funny, never empty

02

Honest, never invented

03

Actionable, not agency-speak

Roast → share → repair

The feedback loop your brand can survive.

One entertaining review exposes the weak spots. Clear upgrades help you fix them. A shareable format brings the next brave founder through the door.

  1. 01

    Upload the evidence

    Send us your website or describe the idea. The AI looks for fuzzy positioning, weak headlines, visual confusion, and missed conversion opportunities.

  2. 02

    Get the 30-second roast

    Receive a punchy video review built to be useful, funny, and ready to share on TikTok, Reels, or LinkedIn.

  3. 03

    Fix what got roasted

    Turn every sharp observation into practical next steps, from rewritten copy to a cohesive AI-generated brand kit.

Choose your recovery plan

Pay for the fix you actually need.

Start with the diagnosis, then upgrade only when the roast reveals a bigger identity crisis.

The Reality Check

$9

A complete business audit for founders who need clarity fast.

  • 30-second AI video roast
  • Brand and messaging diagnosis
  • Prioritized practical fixes
Get the audit
Best next step

The Copy Comeback

$29

Replace vague website language with clear copy designed to earn attention and action.

  • Everything in the audit
  • Rewritten homepage messaging
  • Sharper headline and calls to action
  • Copy ready to paste into your site
Rewrite my website

The Full Glow-Up

$79

A cohesive AI-generated brand kit when a new headline is not enough.

  • Everything in Copy Comeback
  • Logo direction and visual system
  • Color and typography guidance
  • Ready-to-use brand assets
Build my brand kit

Running roasts for client accounts? Agency subscriptions are available by request.

No softballs

Questions before the emotional damage?

It is cheaper than denial

We hurt your feelings, then fix your business.

Submit the site you keep apologizing for. Get a clear diagnosis, a shareable laugh, and a better way forward.

Roast my business